List of the best unrequited love anime, voted on by Ranker's anime community. This may not be the most popular genre of Japanese animation, but all of these shows are worth checking out if you're looking for something new to watch. This poll includes video clips of each show, so if you haven't seen one you can watch it right here on this page. One-sided friendship – who needs them? You answered that pretty fast. But usually, we don’t even realize we’re in one until it’s too late. You know the old saying, relationships are a two-way street. Yeah, I know, I rolled my eyes too, but this washed-out phrase is worn out for a reason. We all have a one-sided. From the film adaption of the popular book of the same name, Stargirl, to the revamp of West Side Story, here are the best romantic movies and rom-coms to look out for in 2020. Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon’s real-life hospital romance turned movie is one of the most original and thoughtful romances in years. In the face of tragedy, an estranged couple grows. In terms of romance this show tells us to not bother falling in love. If you get into a relationship make sure your exes and old crushes have been cut off. Otherwise they will be toxic clinger who will never let you go. Also the show seems to be telling us that one sided love is wrong, most people cannot stop their feelings.
Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and strong romantic affection, or may consciously reject it. The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary defines unrequited as 'not reciprocated or returned in kind'.[1]
PsychiatristEric Berne states in his book Sex in Human Loving that 'Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy sooner.'[2] Others, however, like the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, considered that 'indispensable...to the lover is his unrequited love, which he would at no price relinquish for a state of indifference.'[3] It can also be contrasted with redamancy or the act of reciprocal love.[4]
Analysis[edit]
Route to unrequited love[edit]
According to Dr. Roy Baumeister, what makes a person desirable, of course, is a complex and highly personal mix of many qualities and traits. But falling for someone who is much more desirable than oneself, whether because of physical beauty or attributes like charm, intelligence, wit or status, Baumeister calls this kind of mismatch 'prone to find their love unrequited' and that such relationships are falling upward.[5] According to some psychologists, opposites do attract, but it is not possible to attract those whose moral values are different.[6]
'Platonic friendships provide a fertile soil for unrequited love'.[7] Thus the object of unrequited love is often a friend or acquaintance, someone regularly encountered in the workplace, during the course of work, school or other activities involving large groups of people. This creates an awkward situation in which the admirer has difficulty in expressing their true feelings, a fear that revelation of feelings might invite rejection, cause embarrassment or might end all access to the beloved, as a romantic relationship may be inconsistent with the existing association.
Unrequited love victims[edit]
The inability of the unrequited lover to express or declare their love often leads to negative feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria.[citation needed]
Rejectors[edit]
'There are two bad sides to unrequited love, but only one is made familiar by our culture'[8] – that of the lover, not the rejector. In fact, research suggests that the object of unrequited affection experiences a variety of negative emotions on a par with those of the suitor, including anxiety, frustration, and guilt.[5] As Freud long since pointed out, 'when a woman sues for love, to reject and refuse is a distressing part for a man to play'.[9]
In popular culture[edit]
Unrequited love has been a frequent subject in popular culture. Movies, books and songs often portray the would-be lover's persistence as paying off when the rejector comes to his or her senses. The presence of this script makes it easy to understand why an unrequited lover persists in the face of rejection.[10] In the traditional Welsh folk song Cariad Cywir, the protagonist persists in unrequited love happily despite being continuously ignored. However, there have been other depictions in which the unrequited lover commits suicide, as in Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's novellaThe Sorrows of Young Werther or in the traditional British Isles folk ballad I Once Loved a Lass.
In Margaret Mitchell's 1936 novel Gone with the Wind the main character Scarlett O'Hara feels unrequited love towards Ashley Wilkes.
In Billy Bragg's song The Saturday Boy, the young protagonist looks up the word 'unrequited' in the dictionary whilst in the state of unrequited love.
One of the better examples of unrequited love is Frank Ocean's 'Bad Religion'.
'Johnny Angel', a number one hit song by singer and actress Shelley Fabares, has a relatively notable example of unrequited love. According to the lyrics of this song, a girl falls in love with a boy who doesn't even know that she exists. She even declines countless dates with other boys, just to fully concentrate on the boy she loves. And she has dreams about what the world would be like if the boy loves her. In its sequel, 'Johnny Loves Me', also by Fabares, the girl later wins the boy's heart, convincing him to believe that the girl does exist.
The comics strip Peanuts features multiple different characters engaged in unrequited love relationships. Commenting on the abundance of unrequited love in the series, author Charles Schulz said that he did not know why there is so much unrequited love, but it is something everyone can relate to.[11]
Unrequited Love is a pop album by actress singer songwriter Hillary Hawkins with songs such as 'Missing You'.[12]
Advantages[edit]
Unrequited love has long been depicted as noble, an unselfish and stoic willingness to accept suffering. Literary and artistic depictions of unrequited love may depend on assumptions of social distance that have less relevance in western, democratic societies with relatively high social mobility and less rigid codes of sexual fidelity. Nonetheless, the literary record suggests a degree of euphoria in the feelings associated with unrequited love, which has the advantage as well of carrying none of the responsibilities of mutual relationships: certainly, 'rejection, apparent or real, may be the catalyst for inspired literary creation... 'the poetry of frustration'.'[13]
Eric Berne considered that 'the man who is loved by a woman is lucky indeed, but the one to be envied is he who loves, however little he gets in return. How much greater is Dante gazing at Beatrice than Beatrice walking by him in apparent disdain'.[14]
'Remedies'[edit]
Roman poet Ovid in his Remedia Amoris 'provides advice on how to overcome inappropriate or unrequited love. The solutions offered include travel, teetotalism, bucolic pursuits, and ironically, avoidance of love poets'.[15]
Cultural examples[edit]
Western[edit]
- In the wake of his real-life experiences with Maud Gonne, W. B. Yeats wrote of those who 'had read/All I had rhymed of that monstrous thing/Returned and yet unrequited love'.[16]
- According to Robert B. Pippin, Proust claimed that 'the only successful (sustainable) love is unrequited love',[17] something which according to Pippin, 'has been invoked as a figure for the condition of modernity itself'.[18]
- Examples of unrequited love include Stendhal, Dante, Hans Christian Andersen, and Goethe.
Eastern[edit]
- The medieval Japanese poet Saigyō may have turned from samurai to monk because of unrequited love, one of his waka asking: 'What turned me to wanting/to break with the world-bound life?/Maybe the one whose love/turned to loathing and who now joins with me in a different joy'.[19] In other poems he wrote: 'Alas, I'm foreordained to suffer, loving deep a heartless lass....Would I could know if there be such in far-off China!'[20]
- In China, passion tends to be associated not with happiness, but with sorrow and unrequited love.[21]
See also[edit]
References[edit]
- ^'Unrequited - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary'. Merriam-webster.com. Retrieved 2012-05-23.
- ^Berne, Eric (1970). Sex in Human Loving. Penguin. p. 130. ISBN0-671-20771-7.
- ^This is how R. B. Pippin describes Nietzsche's views in The Persistence of Subjectivity (2005) p. 326.
- ^Ash, John (1775). The New And Complete Dictionary Of The English Language: In Which All The Words are Introduced ... : To Which Is Prefixed, A Comprehensive Grammar; In Two Volumes, Volume 2. Dilly. Retrieved 12 June 2015.
- ^ abGoleman, Daniel (1993-02-09). 'Pain of Unrequited Love Afflicts the Rejecter, Too'. The New York Times. Retrieved 2010-03-31.
- ^'The Real Reason That Opposites Attract'. Psychology Today. Retrieved 2015-12-26.
- ^Spitzberg, p. 311
- ^'To love or be loved in vain: The trials and tribulations of unrequited love. In W. R. Cupach & B. H. Spitzberg (Eds.), The dark side of close relationships (pp. 307-326). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Carpenter, L. M. (1998)Spitzberg, p. 308
- ^Janet Malcolm, Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession (London 1988) p. 9
- ^B. H. Spitzberg/W. R. Cupach, The Dark Side of Close Relationships (1998) p. 251
- ^Charles M. Schulz (2009). Celebrating Peanuts: 60 Years. Andrews McMeel Publishing.
- ^https://www.broadwayworld.com/bwwmusic/article/Missing-You-is-2-Nickelodeon-Stars-1-Music-Video-20190903
- ^Mary Ward, The Literature of Love (2009) p. 45-6
- ^Eric Berne, Sex in Human Loving (Penguin 1970) p. 238
- ^A. Grafton et al, The Classical Tradition (2010) p. 664
- ^Y. B. Yeats, The Poems (London 1983) p. 155
- ^Pippin, p. 326
- ^Pippin, p. 326n
- ^W LaFleur, Awesome Nightfall (Boston 2003) p. 14-15
- ^H H Honda trans,The Sanka Shu (Tokyo 1971) p. 236-7
- ^G Maciocia, The Psyche in Chinese Medicine (2009) p. 136
Further reading[edit]
- Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy (New York 1951) THE THIRD PARTITION: LOVE-MELANCHOLY
- J. Reid Meloy, Violent Attachments (1997)
- Peabody, Susan 1989, 1994, 2005, 'Addiction to Love: Overcoming Obsession and Dependency in Relationships.'
- Mead, Nicole L.; Baumeister, Roy F. (2007), 'Unrequited love', in Baumeister, Roy F.; Vohs, Kathleen D. (eds.), Encyclopedia of Social Psychology, SAGE Publications, ISBN9781412916707
External links[edit]
| Wikimedia Commons has media related to Unrequited love. |
Lost causes, broken hearts, one-side love, and misunderstandings are occurrences that are sadly familiar for most anyone, and this may be at the crux for their attraction to the silver screen as well.
The following list looks at some of the crowning examples of unrequited love in film, though it’s not nor does it try to be definitive. We’ve deliberately side-stepped some of the populist examples such as Titanic or Gone With the Wind in favor of some less celebrated works as well as sterling examples from across the world. Get your tissues ready and brace yourself for a good cry.
30. Head-On (2004)
Writer-director Fatih Akin pulls no punches in this punk rock surrealist amour fou extravaganza in the nervy and often unsettling but undisputably brilliant German arthouse hit, Head-On.
Sibel (Sibel Kekilli, excellent) is a suicidal manic depressive and very much at risk young woman who finds herself in a marriage of convenience with car crashing and hard drinking Cahit (Birol Ünel, also excellent) shortly after the pair meet at an Hamburg psychiatric ward.
The sham marriage prevents Sibel from an arranged marriage she’s no interest in – her family are devout Muslims – and Cahit believes that such an act of altruism might somehow redeem and rescue his wrecked and violent life. Tragicomedy ensues as the mismatched pair slowly find themselves falling in love.
One of Akin’s most inspired flights of fancy in Head-On – and there are many – involves a Greek chorus of talented Turkish musicians whose interludes add depth and something of a surrealist sting to the punk poetics that crackle and pop like fireworks throughout this unforgettable marvel of a movie.
One Sided Love Movies Imdb
29. The Notebook (2004)
Based off of the Nicholas Sparks novel of the same name, director Nick Cassavetes’ The Notebook is a maudlin but nonetheless moving melodrama buoyed by a strong cast which includes Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, James Garner and Gena Rowlands (also Cassavetes’ mother).
Granted, sophisticated audiences may balk at the emotional blackmail and unabashed manipulation brazenly paraded throughout this treacle-y yet poised tale of lovers ripped from each other’s arms due to World War II and societal obligations only to reacquaint years later after starting new lives. It’s a multiple-tissues affair that’s target audience will joyously forgive all the gushing, syrupy sidesteps to be swept up in the soapy heartrending saga and its nostalgic flashbacks. A charmer.
28. Pretty in Pink (1986)
One of the treasured and admired “Brat Pack” cornerstones of 1980s populist cinema, Pretty in Pink was written by John Hughes (The Breakfast Club), directed by Howard Deutch (Some Kind of Wonderful), stars Molly Ringwald (Sixteen Candles) and involves cliquey American high schoolers, coming-of-age bromides, and young love. What’s not to melt for given such solid and fun fundamentals?
Will relatable and gregarious high school senior Andie Walsh (Ringwald) find love via her crush Blain McDonough (Andrew McCarthy), even though he’s a rich kid preppie and she’s a wage-earning working class gal? What about her pining BFF Phil “Duckie” Dale (Jon Cryer) who loves her beyond their platonic arrangement? Is that a young James Spader as a preppie prig?
Bonus points for Harry Dean Stanton as Andie’s lovable hangdog pop, and the titular Psychedelic Furs single – the killer soundtrack also boasts Echo and the Bunnymen, New Order, and The Smiths amongst others – all of which help the film transcend its familiar Cinderella story familiarity. Pretty in Pink wears well, and the adolescent insecurities it addresses add oomph to this dressy and adorable fiction.
27. Broadcast News (1987)
This insightful, rich, and rewarding dramedy directed, produced and written by James L. Brooks (Terms of Endearment) may be set in the dog-eat-dog world of television news reporting, but at its center beats the heart of unanswered love between cantankerous news reporter Aaron Altman (Albert Brooks, wonderful) and his bound, determine, and neurotic producer Jane Craig (Holly Hunter, brilliant).
Add affable anchorman Tom Grunick (William Hurt) and some truly luminous lensing from cinematographer Michael Ballhaus (Goodfellas), who, along with Hurt, Hunter, and Brooks (both of ‘em) were all given Oscar nominations for their considerable efforts, and the results are never less than fascinating, with a love-triangle paradigm that will have viewers tickled and tortured in equal measure.
One Sided Love Movies English
That such genuine heartache, rattled nerves, tragedy, and humiliation can be so entertaining is testament to Brooks’ brilliance as a thoughtful storyteller. Rarely do ensemble films reach such dizzying heights.
26. The Fly (1986)
The sweet romance that begins to blossom early on between eccentric scientist Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) and eager investigative journalist Veronica Quaife (Geena Davis) in David Cronenberg’s The Fly is destined to die prematurely, and painfully, too.
Using very little of the B-movie premise of the 1958 Vincent Price vehicle that inspired it, Cronenberg’s take on the human-housefly hybrid is a repulsive, stomach-churning, and yes, heartbreaking slice of speculative fiction told with his signature style and fondness for special effects fueled gore.
Seth’s close to a breakthrough with his matter transporter when something goes awry after a drunken show of bravado fuses his DNA with that of the eponymous insect. The resulting tragic love story contains elements of Gothic horror and was Cronenberg’s breakthrough film – it also established Goldblum and Davis as major stars – widely considered a touchstone of subversive Canadian cinema, The Fly manages to be as romantic as it is repulsive.
25. The Remains of the Day (1993)
Director James Ivory’s tale of obsession and repression stars Anthony Hopkins as James Stevens, a fanatically devoted butler who falls for housekeeper Miss Kenton (Emma Thompson, delightful) in this lovely adaptation of the Kazuo Ishiguro prize-winning novel.
A subtle, and mature work, The Remains of the Day has a glacial pace, perhaps, but a rewarding one as its characters are richly detailed and the love story builds an intensity that is often absent in mainstream cinema. Period details are meticulous, lengthy flashbacks offer a richly detailed backstory that’s ideal for the discriminating viewer who likes to watch a story unfold in a measured manner with an edifying and relaxed footstep.
24. A Short Film About Love (1988)
Polish auteur Krysztof Kieślowski (The Three Colors Trilogy) was firing on all cylinders with A Short Film About Love – the sixth part of his ten-part anthology, Decalogue – the achingly sweet tale of a young postal worker, Tomek (Olaf Lubaszenko), smitten with an unattainable older woman, Magda (Grazyna Szapolowska).
Like the other complex narratives in Kieślowski’s Decalogue, A Short Film About Love is set in a Warsaw apartment building, and in keeping with that marvellous series, this film packs a hefty emotional wallop that completely justifies Kieślowski’s status as one of the most celebrated and inspired filmmakers of his generation. It’s an unforgettable viewing experience, on the surface deceptively simple, but with deeply resonate flourishes and build, with a conclusion that’s transcendent and affectional by any definition.
A Short Film About Love is a tiny monument and a shiny showpiece, and a perfect introduction to Kieślowski.